I don't know what to do.

I was dumped, in case you didn't know. You probably didn't, because no one reads this, and you probably also didn't know, because I didn't tell you.

So here's the update, basically now I'm alone and it feels pretty crappy. Like I lost a limb. I'll have to learn how to function without something I took for granted for so long.

And yeah, it hurts a lot too. That limb was just torn off. But I treated it pretty poorly, so it's like, you know, eating fatty foods every day of your life until one day your arteries get clogged, and you're like, you know, shit, i should have eaten more vegetables.

But let's stick with the limb analogy for now (forget about the arteries), there's always the option of reattaching it or finding a replacement, a prosthetic. The thing with investing in a prosthetic is that it's artificial, it's fake, it's never like the one you were born with, the one you were meant to have. However, you can learn to live with it, function with it. That too may end up needing replacements. It may be that instead of replacing the limb immediately, you choose to live without one. For now or forever. It may be more difficult, but it could also prove to be rewarding. Wow, look what I can do with one limb, when I used to do it with two. Things are still possible, things are still achievable.

Reattaching though. . .that's the trickiest procedure. Gory. It may take more than one surgery. And after surgery, there's always recovery time. The scars are a constant reminder. A reminder of, oh shit, look what I almost lost. It may bring emotional hurt and it may bring enhanced appreciation. Nerves may be severed, things may never be the same, and you may wonder if you should have just gone for a new limb, or no limb. But is it worth it to wonder?

Is it worth to wonder anything? Is it worth it to wonder what happened? Should I just move on? Should I just forget? Just erase? Move back home? Start new? Or do I beg? Plead my case? Promise on top of promise? Or do I wait? Which is the most lugubrious of processes, the most unrewarding, time consuming anxiety ever.

No one has an answer, everyone has advice, but no one is an expert, I wish I had been nice.