I wish I could sleep but there are too many questions

I used to be a good sleeper. When I was in college I used to sleep more than necessary. Instead of working hard and playing hard, I studied for midterms and finals if I felt I was at risk of failing, drank a lot of Starbucks and generally hid under a few pounds of unruly boofont. Sure, sure, I had some good times here and there, but some of the fondest memories that remain are the times I spent under my covers hibernating through unbearable college life. And while there still remain aspects of my life I'd like to hide under the covers from, my ability to nap has dwindled while my insomnia has only been magnified.

There's no use in trying to deny the ticker tape of worries and thoughts that fall through my head during the late evening hours when my body is physically exhausted. Though my job is sedentary and monotonous providing little stimulation except the need to have an arsenal of quips to retaliate my co-workers with, I come home tense. I run, hoping to tire myself out, but sometimes that proves to be more mentally agitating. When running I try to focus on anything but the mileage ahead. So I focus on the unpleantries in my life.

Current tracks on that playlist include: 'To Move Home or Not to Move Home.' 'Another Internship- TRY A JOB! 'Health Insurance NONONO' and 'Why.' The last track is also the title of my disappointing album. Why did I move here? Why did I think anything would be different? Why am I the way I am? Why am I so stuck?

Stuck. My head on my pillow, my eyes closed and my imagination in overdrive. I envision myself stuck in glue, stuck in plastic. I can't move, I can't speak, I can't get the help I need.

The moving home thing is what has been keeping me awake lately.
I moved out here because I wanted to be an adult and so far I've failed. Do I move back home in order to recuperate although I'll be almost 26 and without a job or really anything to show for myself? Or do I continue to stay stuck in California? Do I pull myself up from my bootstraps and try to better myself against all odds (see: worries, laments, complaints, regrets, troubles)? That would be what someone stable would do. Someone strong. Or is that what someone stubborn would do?

Moving so often, especially this past move to California, has shown me your problems follow you wherever you go. That's common knowledge, folks. It just resonates so much stronger when it actually permeates your existence. . .for more than 5 years. I'm not sure if staying here I will fix the problem or just encourage it. Will going home just make me feel like a failure? Or have I learned my lesson, have I realized I need to seriously regroup and refocus with a strong, unbiased support group backing me? I don't know. I need to stop asking myself questions, especially questions I can't answer.